i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Shame - the story of my life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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