What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
