The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
wow bdsm is so cute
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