i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
