The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
