She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
