so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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