"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Where is the hickey?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
