OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
