Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
