i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it glows. i had to have it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
