i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
