I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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