she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
