You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
