i already hear my dad disowning me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
