I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just found puke in my bra..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
