Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
