Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
