**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
