From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
