Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
