The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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