She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
