so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
