My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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