he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
