Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Randomize
