he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
