dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Randomize
