oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
