Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
