I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the day after is always just damage control
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
