I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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