I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't put those talents on a resume
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
