i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
