i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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