Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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