Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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