so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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