she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
