4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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