Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
