is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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