I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
