New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
