I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
