Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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