Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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