Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
