Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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