...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
