Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
