so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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