I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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