True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Boobs are out for the taking
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
