the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
