covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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