in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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