Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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