To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
