Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's just like the Real World with babies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
