Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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