i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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