my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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