just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
